Getting naked with your friends
Strong indications that you belong to a group
The first time I ever felt undoubtedly like a trusted, genuinely liked part of a social group of friends was yesterday afternoon and it happened in the most unexpected way. All it took was joining my wife and some friends for a day in the water near some falls in the Pacific Northwest. A group of 10 or more people swimming around, sipping hot vodka that had been sitting in the sun, and getting naked.
So much trust
Our friends, my wife included, span the entire LGBTQIA2S+ identity spectrum. Being trusted enough by this group of people to be this level of vulnerable around me is an honor for one thing. I must be living in a way that at least says “We’d all pick this guy over a bear.” I deeply value and appreciate that level of trust, making it just as easy to reciprocate.
Surprisingly, I found it very easy to do. Be naked around these naked friends. Based on everything I’ve ever said or written on this platform, you would expect the complete opposite and honestly, I did too.
“What if there are friends in the group who do not want me around when they’re naked?”
I didn’t know if everyone attending even knew that we would be there. It’s a large but tight group that has done this a lot. When I hear about past Naked Water Day stories from everyone, I feel like this is their thing and that I’m not part of the their yet.
Always feeling like the outsider.
I’m not the only straight cis guy in the group with a queer wife but I’m definitely the newest and didn’t feel like I truly belonged in that way. I’ve written about my lifelong struggles with feeling like I don’t belong or have actual friends. Maybe my presence will make others feel uncomfortable in that context.
“Will people think I’m looking or gazing at them?”
Eyes wander, people are curious but there’s a difference between seeing or noticing and staring or gawking. God, I’d never be a person staring or gawking but if I’m not a REAL friend they might not know that about me.
They might not TRUST me.
Overcoming anxiety.
Each of those questions entered my mind the morning of and my body responded by converting each anxious thought into a variety of sensory issues. My hair felt too long, beard too wiry, every shirt was either too small, too big, or a color I’d hate to wear that day. It took a moment to realize that I was just overthinking and anxious and that maybe it would do me well to sit down and eat a bagel.
Embracing the moment.
We arrived to the basin of this small waterfall basin afternoon much of the group had settled in. Most everyone was already topless and we were both welcomed with excited cheers. Every bit of anxiety had washed away. Not too long afterward, a few of the friends spontaneously ditched their bathing suit bottoms and most of the rest of us joined in. I was surprised at how easy and disarming the whole thing was. Just friends being vulnerable, trusting, and comfortable.
Naked realizations.
Indisputably, there was evidence in my face that the people around me were my trusted friends. Letting go of the usual overthinking about my standing or acceptance into a group was as refreshing as the cool flowing water all around me. All it took to finally experience this was being completely naked with those friends. Who would have thought?
Maybe you didn’t have to be naked communally with friends at a waterfall to experience a moment where you felt you truly belonged, but I’m curious to hear if you have! Or, tell me about a time you remember feeling like you were genuinely accepted and welcome.